eczema!
feeling rather low nowadays due to my skin problem.. haiz.. its like a plague.. n joel can still make a joke out of it by saying tt now i can seriously find true love.. haha...

oh well.. its not tt i didnt pray, its also not tt i dun believe tt God will heal me or sth, or even if he doesnt, it doesnt matter...

its just tt the skin problem can be seen.. noticed.. its so obvious.. its like so gross, having so many bumps on yr hands, feet n the whole body.. and u cant do anything to solve it cuz its a skin problem.. it takes a whole long time to heal.. arhhhhhhhhhhh..... misery..

everytime ppl ask me, i will say its okay la.. i m fine.. i m not lying.. i m really fine.. but its just tt sometimes things just overwhelm you n i really hate to see the bumps on my hands.. now i cant seem to be able to do anything.. cuz i will be staring at my hands.. haiz.. upset-ed..

now there is a big blister like thingy on my hand n its causing me quite a bit of discomfort cuz its painful.. urgh.. i wonder if i really got some 绝症... its not tt i m just being pessimistic.. its just tt i m just feeling hopeless..

can ppl stop asking me abt my bumps.. upset-ed... and my head now leaking pus.. wah seh.. how m i going to survive this ordeal.. haiz..



qing ming jie plus absurdity
absurdity

the whole family plus relatives were having lunch at my aunt's place.. wat happened next is simply absurd.. due to a limited amount of places around the table (actually cuz the house very small), my little aunt decided to sacrifice her seat so tt the others can sit n have lunch merrily.. but then strangely my big uncle (age abt 50-60, notice the old age) decides to be angry and decided tt he will not eat lunch.. for watever reason.. and he just sat fuming on the couch even though my aunt kept persuading him to eat plus others too.. and he just refused to eat lunch.. and I was SHOCKED..

there was no argument prior to eating lunch.. plus everyone just propped down onto their seats and started eating.. so i suppose tt is the only reason he could get angry abt.. which is absurd.. and so everyone tried to persuade him to eat.. den he just stormed out of the house and mumbled sth abt eating lunch alone..

and all these took place prior to the visitation to the graves.. so he ended up not eating lunch, fuming n not paying respects to his parents (my grandparents).

some ppl are just weird.. plus while everyone was eating, they just nonchalantly mentioned tt "aiya, tt is his pi qi, nv change since young" this made me more shock.. cuz he shld have change by now cuz he is no longer a kid.. sometimes adults are just mad.. fancy getting angry over such things..

qing ming jie

nothing much happened here though.. except i almost find this tradition to be a bit too ritualistic instead of really remembering the one who died.. it has simply lost its meaning.. although i do see my father sincerely doing the rituals.. or maybe cuz he wants to strike the next 4D.. ha.. oh well..