early thanksgiving..
i had always wanted to post up this thing for a very long time but nv getting down to putting it in words cuz of exams..

so now here it is..

thanks to all those ppl who have comforted me in one way or another.. though small actions, yet warm and encouraging.. here goes: *ranking not in order of preference*

first and foremost, thank God for lovely frens to bring me thru the ordeal..

thanks to my lim wx for bothering to hear me talk rubbish n get scolded in return.. haha.. gd tt u got the better luck in the end..

thanks to jan, jiahui, jeelee, cheryl, boss alvin, kelvin for offering to listen to my helpless pleas and sadness.. yr offers has been a tremendous encouragement n frenships.. :) plus special thanks to jan for giving me the cute toy tt she got from macs.. haha.. it did cheered me up..

thanks to collin for attempting to pull my hair while i was attempting to go up the bus.. it did lighten up my mood a bit..

thanks to dancing too.. cuz it helped my mind preoccupied instead of the stoopid stuff..

thanks to everybody who had helped to lighten up my mood a bit here n there.. ah ha.. despite terrible sadness of being dejected by a useless freak.. n plus the stoopid scam.. i can only get better isn't it.. its the worst liao, things will only get better --> as jiahui says.. ah haha.. :D

besides, through tis dejection, it had only made my frens more valuable than ever.. so i will nv give up anything for tt.. wheee.. happy ending..



model scams
well.. if u think u got the looks.. den ppl scout for u.. its a scam..

anyway i got scammed.. few ppl in church knows abt it.. anyway i checked on the websites abt modeling scamming.. small small agencies cannot make it.. cuz they will try to do anything to make sure u sign up for their small photography sections tt cause money so tt they can earn money.. so beware when u get approached..

anyway its really safer to sign up with well known agencies like upfront models.. so yup yup.. make sure they got a website..

stop tt modeling scam.. makes me upset.. i m not modeling type.. no height.. haha.. stop deceiving oneself.. its indeed flattering.. anyway at least i didnt get cheated.. ah ha.. :D



finished 2 papers already!
yay.. wat a great achievement.. haha.. i am so glad the really tough papers are over.. whee.. can relax..

at this time, my whole family is already asleep.. can u believe it.. so early.. everyone doesnt even work.. i was refering to my sisters plus my mom cuz she is taking leave.. well at least i studied a bit just now.. ha.. but nobody to accompany me.. boo.. :D



ah.......................
any moment now, i will surely go berserk..

seriously how m i suppose to study with so many distractions ard.. gaming, laptop, the comforts of home.. going crazy..

i need to study but yet i m not.. wat m i doing.. i need to study in sch.. where all u do is just study and nothing else.. which is gd.. but then.. thinking of going to sch all the way.. is a bit too much.. haiz.. sianz.. i m so dead.. haiz..



a lie
a msg.

"hope tat you are feeling better"

brings both warmth and pain at the same time. how can a msg bring such diversified feelings?

somehow i feel ignoring everything tt had happened would have been better but tt will be escapism..

everytime i feel tt i m ok already, a hit has to come by. and why does all the sermons seem to have relationships. and why does everyone has to ask me "where is lawrence?". and wat is everyone's problem. and why do i have to suffer this alone. and why do lovey dovey couples keep appearing in front of me. and God is fair. i deserve it.



study
suppose to be studying.. bored.. sianz.. thinking of so many things.. i wonder why..



stupidity strucks..
its really stupid..

the moment he talked to me, i had to dl some new version of msn.. n the conversation was cut off without even beginning in the first place.. ah.. stupid..

hope he is doing well too..

too many innocent gestures turn out to be death sentence..



defragmentation
i m waiting for my com to defragment.. just like i m also defragmentin..

having thought thru it over and over again, only to realise its over still hasnt set in.. getting dumped wasnt the worse hit.. the worse hit was tt he wasnt happy being with me.. i guess tt is wat upsets me the most.. cant even bring someone happiness..

from young, a girl has always wanted to get attention from her parents.. so she will always do stoopid things like vandalism, stealing money to go fun fair, play truant in order to get her parents' attention.. from young, her parents were so busy working that they had no time to accompany her, growing her up as a gd individual.. cuz of such circumstances, she hasnt been able to get a relationship working.. the only thing she does is to argue, not to anger ppl, but to get ppl's attention..

an innocent gesture turns out to be so malignant..