He's not into you...
reminds me of tt idiotic joshua...

here goes:

- He's Just Not That Into You if ... He's Not Calling You. ('With the advent of cellphones and speed dials, it is almost impossible NOT to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to.')

- He's Just Not That Into You if ... He's Not Asking You Out. ('Sadly, not wanting to see you in person is massive as far as dating obstacles go.')

- He's Just Not That Into You if ... He's Not Having Sex With You. ('Get a big red crayon. Colour in this flag. You've just made a big red flag. Good, because that's what a man not wanting to have sex with you is.')

And, not to focus solely on male behaviour, it leaves women with some key advice on how to act when feeling hurt and angry. 'One simple rule, ladies, always be classy. Never be crazy. It will ensure that you never have that awful memory of cutting his clothes in half or leaving his dog by the side of the road.'


Although Behrendt and Tuccillo say they've received mostly excellent feedback, inevitably some people don't like the book. They don't get the humour, they don't like the title, they don't like the tone. 'But hey,' Behrendt says, 'it's just advice, it's not a mandate. I'm not a doctor or a therapist.' Though, he adds, some therapists have praised the book, too.

And asked why the book is directed only at women - Hey Greg, aren't there guys out there who need to hear 'SHE'S Just Not That Into You?' - Behrendt has a simple reply.

'Sure, we could have written that book,' he says. 'And about eight guys would have bought it.'

Full article here.

interesting right.. idiots..




finally exams over..
wah.. although i have been waiting for tis a long time already.. but den.. haiz.. sianz.. just realised i got no time to rest at all.. youth camp is from 1-4 dec.. wah.. so little time.. tmr still got to go east coast for dry run.. wah.. tiring man.. i haven packed my bag.. got to prepare 2 bags..

1. camp stuff
2. diving

i think i cannot tahan liao.. i pray that i will fall sick... oh pls.. dun fall sick.. i will rest enough.. hahhaha.. :D things are great.. got a great camp coming up.. plus my fav.. DIVING... whee..................... n got mission trip.. yay!!! n wat is more.. christmas is here!!! yay..

i think joshua is dead.. he haven reply me.. i will call him, i tell u.. if he doesnt reply.. tryin to make me irritated.. urgh..

now i got nothing better to do.. buddy go play soccer.. janice, dunno where is she.. ha.. kk.. i shall just sleep.. :D hee...

weird..
yest i was quite happy talkin to my frens over the msn..

den today i realize all the happy thoughts abt having a gd guy fren is dismissed... one treats her gf like shit.. the other one like to watch psycho movies.. urgh.. how izit possible.. haiz.. (names are not disclosed as it may result in disputes)

janice.. where r u when i need u to get advise.. hahah..

today i was flipping thru my jap notes.. didnt to give joshua a msg on the phone askin him abt ice breakers.. in the end, after a few msgs.. he nv reply.. he very gd.. very the gd.. i need help for the games.. urgh.. big deal.. i have already forgotten him when i was happily chattin with my frens yest.. well all these hopes are dashed.. werid..

tmr last paper.. cant wait.. :D n jap lang is my fav..

now i wonder whether my buddy is really tt gd after all.. urgh.. so much for the looks.. hmm.. weird.. i got troubling matters.. haiz..



sad sad song..






i m still bored..
now.. suppose to be time to sleep.. but my fren.. (forgot his name, oopz), anyway he is quite unhappy with his 3 sistax.. so feel quite bad for him.. so decided to talk to him.. but my eyes are tired n my neck is like stiffed.. urgh.. hahah.. well well..

jan mentioned sth tt is worth saying.. tt is CHRISTMAS is coming!!! yay.. n dive trip is coming too.. double Yay!!!.. besides tt.. still got youth camp n mission trip.. wah.. loads of stuff in december.. i wonder if i have enough clothes to get ard.. haha.. yay.. i love christmas.. but christmas reminds me of joshua.. haiya.. why always mention him.. urgh.. i have sprawled words like "i think i have gotten over joshua" on my board.. tryin to brainwash me into thinkin tt.. it shld be starting to take its effect.. but its christmas.. christmas is a time to think abt our loved ones.. ah... no no.. its abt Christ being born.. wah... as if i didnt know.. ha.. i think i m just tired.. haha..

weiying is offline..




bored..
today is a super boring day.. had sinus the whole day.. it was terrible.. couldnt concentrate on my studies.. feel like i have wasted the whole day doing nothing except watching tv n coming online to talk to frens.. haha.. well well.. its time to take a rest.. n i wonder how i m suppose to study for my history.. the past yr qns seem so difficult.. haiz.. i m so dead.. haha..




a flood of thoughts n emotions...
this morning, i had 2 papers.. philo n jap studies.. urgh.. suppose to be gd one u know.. but den.. i realise tt the essay part of jap studies i didnt answer the qn correctly.. suppose to be write in terms of perspective but i didnt.. n tt is the crucial pt la.. haiz.. well well.. marks just fly away.. haha.. watever la.. haiz.. i cannot do anything although i quite depressed.. hmmm.. haiz.. forget abt it.. still got history n jap lang.. wah.. worrisome.. God, i will leave it in yr hands.. :D i will do my best for the rest of the papers, God.. :D

weird.. weird.. u know wat.. i thought of joshua again.. but tis time i think its getting worse.. i m actually subconsciously unknowingly like wat joshua likes.. for instance, the peanuts book that i borrowed from wei xiang.. then after borrowing den i realise.. "eh, doesnt joshua like snoopy?" oh no i think i going crazy.. unless i rmb wrongly.. den nvm..
after sch.. was at the bus stop, bus 105 passed by. i almost wanted to board the bus cuz it can reached joshua's house.. wah.. i m so dead.. must be the stress.. lol.. den i met the cogs ppl at the coffeeshop b4 our mtg at cogs.. den i saw the ikea plastic n the squash racquet.. must things tt i see get associated with joshua.. wat is tis.. i rmb tt time we went to ikea n ate meatballs.. nice nice.. :D den hui juan n sarah took out the hot dog bread to eat.. den i recalled joshua was eating it tt time at ikea too.. den the squash racquet that joshua likes to play too.. although he likes soccer n tennis more.. :D
at the mtg.. caleb n joel have to mention abt joshua.. had to mention tt i wasnt paying attention to the last night.. tt i was lookin at joshua the whole time.. n i had to tell those 2 dumb dumbs tt he wasnt there at the last night.. ha..

haiz.. i guess the mind works in a funny way.. u have to clear the past memories in order to allow new memories to form.. but i cant bear to part with those memories.. really.. so nice n sweet.. haiz.. think too much.. brain cells dying.. :D anyway.. its coming to an end.. its reaching almost one yr by 30th of nov.. tt will be 1 yr away from the time i knew joshua.. i think forgeting will probably be easier.. soon i guess.. n i also dun think anyone can replace joshua in my heart la.. so i will wait for everyone to fade away.. 3 yrs is not tt long.. i must endure..

oh ya abt lawrence.. haiz.. sad.. i dunno wat m i suppose to tell him when the exams are over.. i really think the rumour n bullshit should really stop.. i dun mind them keep saying both of us.. but its doing severe detriment to law.. its unfair.. get it.. haiz.. he will always appear me to be a stranger.. nothing more.. cannot go on further.. stuck.. (joshua's image will appear, cannot get over him) i cannot be so selfish.. get it.. cannot.. i will put a stop to it.. n BASIL.. u better dun stop me, but u shld help me.. know or not.. n JANICE.. u shld also help me too.. or else haiz.. he will be very sad.. its my fault.. n STOP saying tt we are going to be together.. its NEVER going to be possible.. i got obstacle.. HUGE obstacle n xin li barrier tt is very hard to overcome.. only time can cure.. so after 3 yrs.. den talk to me abt relationship.. or else dun say anything.. thanx for everyone's coorperation.. :D i will tell him myself.. i must.. must rmb..

forgot to add this bit in.. and abt the philosophical stuff i thought of abt the kissing joshua thing.. i think it wont work cuz i realise i also manage to forget the previous guy becos i met joshua.. so unless i meet someone better.. or else i can forget abt forgeting joshua.. tt is my presumption.. just trying of ways to reason out how i m going to forget joshua.. well well.. who can be more boliao den me.. ha.. :D




today...
After months of struggling to forget joshua.. it doesnt seem to work at all.. ha.. well.. i have worked out a philosophical argument with my sister.. ha..

premises:

1. i want to forget joshua
2. kissing will make you forget tt person

conclusion:

i have to kiss joshua to forget him.

wahahhahahha.. you may think tt it is ridiculous.. hahhahah.. i also think so.. but based on the past different experiences that i have gotten. it seem tt kissing is quite a good method.. lol.. anyway i think i must be too bored.. ha..

anyway its getting super boring studyin abt jap studies.. urgh.. came online for a breather.. :D not to forget tt a zhao shuai person asked me to buddy him.. ha.. i know la.. he got gf.. ha.. but anyway.. ya.. God is good.. :D helping me to put a stop to my misery..

to andrew*: actually hor.. when he like me tt time, i didnt like him.. so i guess its my fault den.. how can u fall in love with a person in 2 days right.. ha.. so in the process of knowing him better, then i have grown to like him better.. so it seems that.. sometimes things do not get reciprocated.. the person you love dun love you.. n tt is tragic.. haiz.. it cant be help though.. well, i will see wat i can do with joshua.. his name is sprawled over my jap notes.. ha..

i cannot believe it..




i cannot believe it..
i cant believe it.. really cant believe it.. i thought of joshua again.. again.. i seriously have problems.. u know wat.. i almost mistaken someone for him.. urgh.. n i cried my way home again.. urgh.. haiz.. get out of my life.. tis is miserable.. get me out of tis mess.. AH!!! God, help me... haiz..

just now had a games mtg at city hall.. den i thought of joshua again.. urgh.. anyway.. the mtg went on fine.. david dropped by.. ha.. so funny.. look at him feel like laughing.. at least it helped me forget joshua quite a bit.. :D great..

haiz.. i m tired.. tired of all this shit.. really.. when can i really get out n stop tis thinking.. its driving me crazy.. thinkin wat joshua sent me.. want me to be happy.. i also want.. but how.. haiz.. this is getting boring for those who are reading.. ha.. but its alright right.. u dun have to read all this crap.. ha.. haiz.

SICK N TIRED!!!




indignant..
to all the ppl out there..
i have given up on joshua.. get it!!! given up.. so its not like its very helpful to tell me to give him up, alright.. it is not helpful.. it just makes me feel super pissed.. super pissed..

and ya.. its not like its very easy to forget.. when everything i see reminds me of joshua.. n ppl have to keep reminding me of the relationship tt didnt work out.. if all u ppl out there know how sad i was.. well even though its over an unworthy guy, alright..

i repeat myself again.. i have given him up.. REALLY... urgh..

SORRY ppl for getting so worked up.. i m still stubborn, alright.. haiz.. u ppl wont understand.. so much for asking me to be happy.. haiz.. its not helping.. n dun mention abt joshua anymore if u ppl want me to forget abt him, get it.. i need to vent my anger tis way.. sorry folks..




a tiny bit of reflection..
well.. just now.. had a bit of trouble n commotion of yelling "shit" a lot of times.. ha.. basil.. if u r reading tis.. sorry.. but den.. it was stoopid fault.. but i dun mind u reading as long as.. kh doesnt know..

but just a reflection on joshua.. kh was right in saying tt it is not possible tt i love joshua.. n he is absolutely right.. upon tis fact, i think i understand.. tt up to tis stage its still infatuation.. so superficial.. so fake.. haiz.. dunno wat i m doing.. anyway.. he is still the best.. no qualms abt it.. :D



joshua messaged..
thanx joshua.. :D he msged at 1441 just now.. sth abt wanting me to be happy.. :D thank u.. although i know its impossible but i m still glad he msged.. dunno y.. it sort of made me think.. its over.. i know.. hard to swallow.. but i know its finished.. haiz.. timing not right.. i couldnt do much..

reminded me of wat ppl said not too long ago.. pas fu man mentioned the dangers of combined church camps.. said i almost got into a relationship.. i wonder how things can spread so fast.. when yest at the home, uncle Ben mentioned tt i almost went into a relationship with another guy.. strange.. how news aka gossip get ard so fast.. but haiz.. forget it.. :D its over..

anyway lawrence was very nice yest.. i scolded him cuz i was pissed.. ppl are all studying n they are complaining tt i didnt study.. not complaining.. they were exclaiming with shock tt i wasnt studying.. haiz.. forget it.. but he didnt say anything la.. ha.. den i apologised to him.. den he said i shld do it in moderation, ha.. he said he know la.. but i m glad he understand.. :D ha..

justin mentioned sth abt being unfair to lawrence by not officially be with him.. but den hor.. if i go with him ar, it will be more unfair to him.. i dun think i even like him.. justin said i shldnt becuz of failed relationship den dun give him chance... not i dun wan to give him chance.. but he is really lousy la.. aiya.. forget it.. i hate relationships.. although sometimes its entertaining.. here i go again.. wire loose.. ha..

lastly, thanx josh.. :D i wonder if u really sent it yrself.. but thanx anyway.. :D




outing to Chen Su Lan's methodist home...
whoo!!! great day.. blessed day to have children ard.. :D well well.. today we went to the home.. filled with small children.. most of them came from broken families.. a bit sad.. but it was nice to be with them.. made me happy.. one of the girls by the name of Shao Ming (sounds like a guy's name right) but she is super cute n pretty.. so yup yup.. good to know her.. she clings to ppl n tell them straight forward things like "i like u".. wahhahaha.. so i feel super privileged to be like by her.. hahah.. so it was great.. JYM cleaned up the homes n talk to the children, played with them, ate with them.. :D great feeling.. ha.. wished we will be able to go there more often.. ha..

hahaha.. hmmm.. have to get back to studying.. boring though.. ha..

sth happened today.. there was a disagreement btw B n C.. hmmm.. hope they are fine.. haiz.. unhealthy arguments.. shldnt be.. they are really cute together but den such arguments cannot be too frequent.. like nv wake up to call her is a small matter.. n nv wait for her also small matter.. why create until such a big fuss.. haiz.. make everybody so miserable.. really hope they are ok.. haiz..cannot like tt go on or else it will really deteriote.. puppy love.. ha..




ouch!!!
had a really bad stomachache today.. urgh.. i wonder what did i eat wrong or my stomach is really spoilt.. too much chilli.. i think.. most prob.. ha.. shld refrain from it.. cause me much unpleasantness..

yest night.. cheryl hor.. she hor.. said sth so saddening.. but come to think of it.. its not really very upsetting but it made me cry.. guess wat?? its abt josh.. she hor.. she say sth like u shld move on la.. wah lao.. its not like i nv lor.. very difficult wat.. say move on means can move on one meh.. haiz.. not like her.. 5 yrs bf like tt also can move on.. but then different matter la.. her bf treat her not good.. haiz.. fine fine.. move on.. STILL STUCK!!! forget it.. its not helping at all.. haiz..

Wedding at Grace Assembly of God...
oopz.. forgot to add tis bit.. today was my teacher's wedding day.. wah.. i almost cried when the bride walk out.. i think i must be crazy.. like tt also can cry.. n u know wat.. wah.. tis bit is horrible.. i actually can visualize i m getting married with joshua.. wah.. tis is really getting worse.. i almost wanted to slap myself in the face.. urgh..
the food was delicious.. ha.. great..

the morning was spent studying den now i just finished studying wat i wan to study today which is 3 chaps of jap studies.. ha.. its not really alot.. hahahha.. i m so dead.. super stress now.. all the crazy ppl still in sch studying until the wee hours in the night.. they are really crazy.. i got no comments abt them.. just hope they dun fall sick.. crazy ppl.. ha..




i should start studying..
ha.. well well.. almost done with my essay which is due today.. i must reach sch b4 5pm but looking at the weather, it doesnt seem like its possible but ha.. i will try..

went swimming in the morning.. yay!! happy.. but den i think hor.. i slept the moment i came back.. i think the swimming will amount to nothing den.. or ya n i ate chocolate n pringles when i came back... urgh.. wat crap.. ha..

just wondering.. how is joshua.. well... haiz.. nvm.. i believe one day, i will see him again.. :D yupz.. happy.. :D




realisation of the matters of heart and God..
sometimes i wonder if i placed too much time thinking about Joshua rather on God.. i think it has always been chucked in the back of my head.. i do not want to think or just keep shouting "SHUT UP!!!" to God.. haiz.. bad..

i wonder how much i have drifted away.. i thank God for giving the best memories of my life - joshua.. even if it was short-lived, i m grateful.. so strange.. although it was miserable.. but the joyfulness springs from the moment i knew him.. so the rest doesnt matter.. even if he hated me alot.. i guess tt's life isnt it.. i have to learn somehow someday n know tt prob one day, he will know.. maybe.. my hope is not on him but on God.. and in tt, i m very certain.. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. reminded of this verse makes me realise tt i should stop sinning.. must get a grip on myself..

being a christian is nv an easy thing-- as my pastor mentioned to me just now.. me, being a cell leader cannot even get my group together.. struggle at every single step.. i dun feel i m contributing esp when most of my time is spent thinking about where is the next diving trip.. ha.. i still love God.. i nv want to be in a situation where i compromise.. but diving makes me do tt.. urgh.. i seriously need to pray.. slacker.. haiz..

my life is going thru transitional mode.. today, went for the Anglican Youth Leaders Network (AYLN) thingy.. met my SERVE frens.. realise tt their lifes are filled with serving God.. makes me really think m i contributing.. not tt i want to outperform or anything.. but "faith without deeds is dead" in Hebrews.. so u know.. deeds..

i love my family.. i still love joshua.. n most imptly, i love God.. i feel blessed.. :D joyfulness springs from a heart which looks towards God.. yes.. hopefully the next time i blog in, i will write some improvements i have made.. ha..

exams are just abt the corner.. urgh.. ha..




life sucks..
i know this doesnt sound alright.. n i m not suppose to say tt.. but it really sucks at this very moment..

imagine.. life w/o joshua.. wah.. sianz.. (stop harping on this stoopid subject.. *slaps ownself*) i think my wire loose liao.. haiz.. den still got one more stoopid essay to write.. n my grades for essays suck.. keep getting Cs as if it can help much to pull my grades up.. haiz.. exams coming.. stress.. haiz.. den got lots of things coming up.. Similans better be good at the end of this yr... or else.. haiz..

n abt Lawrence.. i realise we are getting nowhere.. cannot forget joshua.. n tt is a fact... dun think will forget in such a short while.. so still need plenty of time to recuperate.. haiz.. keep feeling sorry for lawrence.. poor thing.. kanna this type of girl aka me.. its really his bad luck.. haiz..

well well.. i shld start to wake up.. n really think of wat today's sermon talked abt.. abt "overcoming rejection".. i think i seriously have problems over rejection.. every word the preacher said was like God talking to me.. den i keep saying loudly in my mind : SHUT UP!!! Sorry Lord.. couldnt face up to the reality tt i m in.. urgh.. life sucks..

at JYM, pas fu man came to speak on "MISSIONS".. i feel inspired again.. but the joshua factor lingered.. urgh.. i have thought abt it.. i should start getting a life.. a life worth living for God.. n not harping on the joshua-will-nv-come-back-n-dwell-in-yr-own-misery attitude.. haiz.. URGH!!! GET OUT OF THIS STOOPID MESS... STOOPID GIRL!!!

i dun think it helps a lot.. haiz.. forget it.. just trying to vent my frustrations.. must be PMS..




nice song..




stoopid me..
sometimes its really true of the saying tt "when u are living in bliss, you do not realise it"... i dun wan tt to happen.. i dun wan to take things for granted..

imagine someone gave u flowers, n u complain tt u didnt like the flowers n a whole load of rubbish which i did.. haiz.. stoopid.. retarded.. how far can it go? if only i knew how sweet it was to receive flowers.. haiz.. i ask for it.. stoopid.. retard..

who is not happy with getting flowers.. except that it wasnt the flower tt i wanted.. ha.. again.. i think i "no help"(in chinese) already.. haiz.. thanx Lawrence.. didnt mean to be mean as always... PMS mood is super strong now.. hormonal inbalance..

teach me Lord, to count my blessings.. keep taking things for granted..

something struck me today.. i realise why joshua dun wan me already.. i tied him down.. that is it... sorry.. i didnt realise.. maybe la.. n added tt i was insensitive n selfish.. haiz.. forget it.. guessing is no pt.. but insensitive n selfish is true.. get it inside my head.. stoopid fool..