Tuesday, August 31, 2004 | 9:13 PM
Its over? or not?
Think it must be over. So soon. So soon. I do not know whether I am still in shocked mode or I am used to the reality that I face now.
Just yesterday, Mr L. mentioned that he will go and look for other girls. He mentioned that he did not want me to be unhappy. (This fact I did not mention to many ppl though) I replied with a "good den" and he too, thought it was good. Well, I do not know if I should be happy or sad. It seems like I am forever in a daze today. I cannot concentrate. Its super brain-taxing even though I know its over. What is wrong with me? Ah... I am really going to go crazy any moment.
Happy or sad? Depressed or shocked? Confused or distressed? All of these feelings mixed within me. Happy that he decide to move on and sad that he actually agreed to move on. How contradicting!!! Depressed that I will no longer be with him. Shocked that he actually did not express any major emotional changes. It just goes to mean that I am insignificant. Confused that he actually grabbed my hand 2 days ago n he has plain forgotten about it. Distressed that this whole thing has ended becuz of me, becuz I cannot accept that fact.
Forever trying to find the perfect guy who will not make any stupid mistakes along the way. Nv succeeding becuz such things will not happen. The fact that I always have failed relationships is becuz of this stupid flaw. Major flaw, cannot stand it when things go wrong(not according to wat I prefer) Yes, selfish. I think that is the case. Haiz. Forget it. Prob he is another one of those jerks. As usual. What is so surprising about it.
(Sigh)
Tuesday, August 31, 2004 | 9:13 PM
Its over? or not?
Think it must be over. So soon. So soon. I do not know whether I am still in shocked mode or I am used to the reality that I face now.
Just yesterday, Mr L. mentioned that he will go and look for other girls. He mentioned that he did not want me to be unhappy. (This fact I did not mention to many ppl though) I replied with a "good den" and he too, thought it was good. Well, I do not know if I should be happy or sad. It seems like I am forever in a daze today. I cannot concentrate. Its super brain-taxing even though I know its over. What is wrong with me? Ah... I am really going to go crazy any moment.
Happy or sad? Depressed or shocked? Confused or distressed? All of these feelings mixed within me. Happy that he decide to move on and sad that he actually agreed to move on. How contradicting!!! Depressed that I will no longer be with him. Shocked that he actually did not express any major emotional changes. It just goes to mean that I am insignificant. Confused that he actually grabbed my hand 2 days ago n he has plain forgotten about it. Distressed that this whole thing has ended becuz of me, becuz I cannot accept that fact.
Forever trying to find the perfect guy who will not make any stupid mistakes along the way. Nv succeeding becuz such things will not happen. The fact that I always have failed relationships is becuz of this stupid flaw. Major flaw, cannot stand it when things go wrong(not according to wat I prefer) Yes, selfish. I think that is the case. Haiz. Forget it. Prob he is another one of those jerks. As usual. What is so surprising about it.
(Sigh)
Hello.
So do you wanna know more about the person who created this blogskin? by detail? check out.
The title had crossed my mind to do an entry because there's a question from variety peoples always asked the same things. I collected the questions since i was a small kids until now. The "question" is always same. So, i would like to share it with you. I also include about my blog k.
Your blog is really nice, how did you do that?
Actually, i always change my theme because i am a person who havva very quick feeling of boredom.
I cannot make things permanently -certain. I was at random when viewing others people blog on tumblr. I said T U M B L R only. So if their theme makes me attracted, i will make them as inspiration. Tadaa!
You looked pretty, are you mixed blood?
Haha. Yes I am (and i wonder how they know i was
‚ñß.‚ñ® ). People notice that by looking at my face (totally) and the way i talked?? LOL. Okay, my late grandfather (beside my father) is a
Thai. His family comes from Pattani, Thailand. But then my grandfather's family move to Malaysia because of several problem. My grandpa is a pure Thai,, naahh.. no wonder i love thai foods so much while my sister love to watch Thai's movies.
Furthermore, my late grandfather (beside my mom) is
Java people. Pure also. About his family background, they came to Malaysia to trade -Business :P
Why did your nose had a freckles?
This question is always asked by people since i was a small kids. Got answer above, i stated all there. Im mixed. stfu.
What kind of products did you use?
Hah this question lagi laa... Actually my face wasnt a flawless like a baby's skin. I do had a pimple problem when i was thirteen years old, but now not again. I just use the face cleanser -Shurah. and Mycin to prevent the pimple. Its pretty good.
What's the brand of cosmetics that you used?
For skins, i used Simply Siti. It's much better and very soft. Others like eyeshadow, lipstick, eyeliner, mascara and etc, i used L'elan Vital, include Simply Siti too.
What is you real name? and your real name is better than Lala. Why did you change that?
...........Five years ago, -at class.
Me: What do you think about a nickname? Any suggestion?
Classmate: Your name A-dil-la. So how bout we're take the last term. "LA" (doubled 'em)
Me: Lala?? Haha.. oh yah sure. I like it so much.
Classmate: But Didi also okay
Me: Nooo.. it sound like a boy's name !
Me: Okay okay.. Call me Lala start from now
Got it? Five years ago, no one named "Lala" in my school (SMK Rawang) but nowaday, double middle fingers up to them. I hate when people's nickname same as me. Grr! Certain people didnt know my real name. They know me as Lala :3 I dont use my real name because people always get wrong when spelling my name. I hate that. Just Lala okay.. Dilla (my real name) is only for family called and friends from ex-SK Taman Selasih.
Are you a die hard fans of pink?
Definitely!
----P/s : Maybe thats all. You can ask me on formspring. ‚ô´ Fiction....fiction... by Beast.
-Please remove this nonsense. It was just an example.
1 Comments:
heyz.. noe exactly how u feel... been thru tis man..like thot i didnt like tis somebody... thn when the persistent is gone after rejectin him.. u kinda feel like.. was it the rite thing.. n like when he is wif other gals u jus feel uneasy n stuff.. its like u don even noe how u feel at all.. for me.. it almost seems like a mental over emotional thingy.. hiez.. got over tis for some time.. when see him in sch again... hiez...:P
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